A Practical Breakdown of Parenting Styles
February 20th, 2024
Raising kids can be joyful, rewarding, and fulfilling, but it's also exhausting and demanding. While we might think our approach to parenting is unique, psychologists have classified parents' behavior with their children into different parenting styles.
Three-quarters¹ of US adults think the authoritative parenting style is effective for raising children, but would it suit your family? And what do experts recommend?
You may have heard of authoritative vs authoritarian parenting, and in this article, we will unpack the categories introduced by Diane Baumrind², a research psychologist based at UC Berkeley, and examine a few modern sub-styles to help you navigate modern child-rearing.
Three-quarters¹ of US adults think the authoritative parenting style is effective for raising children, but would it suit your family? And what do experts recommend?
You may have heard of authoritative vs authoritarian parenting, and in this article, we will unpack the categories introduced by Diane Baumrind², a research psychologist based at UC Berkeley, and examine a few modern sub-styles to help you navigate modern child-rearing.
The Parenting Styles Classified by Diane Baumrind
A parenting style describes a set of child-rearing practices. In 1967, Baumrind categorized³ three parenting styles:
• Authoritarian
• Authoritative
• Permissive (also known as indulgent).
Researchers added the neglectful parenting style later.
Baumrind observed that strict parental control was losing popularity among white middle-class parents in the US. In favor of a compromise between authoritarian and permissive parenting, she proposed authoritative parenting.
• Authoritarian
• Authoritative
• Permissive (also known as indulgent).
Researchers added the neglectful parenting style later.
Baumrind observed that strict parental control was losing popularity among white middle-class parents in the US. In favor of a compromise between authoritarian and permissive parenting, she proposed authoritative parenting.
Authoritative
According to Baumrind, authoritative parenting is the highest standard. It means parents use positive strategies to teach critical thinking and reinforce positive, responsible behavior. Research shows⁴ that authoritative parenting results in positive psychological outcomes and better mental health.
The American Psychological Association⁵ describes this style as warm, nurturing, responsive, and supportive, with firm limits for children. Parents teach kids morals, values, and goals by explaining why they set rules and listen to their child's point of view but may not always accept it.
Jeff Nalin, Ph. D.⁶, a licensed clinical psychologist, tells⁷ Parents: "They encourage their children to express themselves and contribute to problem-solving, but they don't provide excessive rules or unrealistic expectations."
The American Psychological Association⁵ describes this style as warm, nurturing, responsive, and supportive, with firm limits for children. Parents teach kids morals, values, and goals by explaining why they set rules and listen to their child's point of view but may not always accept it.
Jeff Nalin, Ph. D.⁶, a licensed clinical psychologist, tells⁷ Parents: "They encourage their children to express themselves and contribute to problem-solving, but they don't provide excessive rules or unrealistic expectations."
Pros and Cons
Michigan University⁸ sums up the positive effects on children:
• A tendency for high self-esteem and self-confidence.
• A warm and close relationship with parents thanks to clear and firm guidelines.
• Kids tend to be responsible.
• An ability to manage aggression.
• Kids are likely happy and successful.
Cons:
• Expectations can be high, which might create pressure and anxiety.
• Some might experience their parent's rules as oppressive, leading to a perceived lack of autonomy.
• A possible overdependence on parental approval limits decision-making ability.
• A tendency for high self-esteem and self-confidence.
• A warm and close relationship with parents thanks to clear and firm guidelines.
• Kids tend to be responsible.
• An ability to manage aggression.
• Kids are likely happy and successful.
Cons:
• Expectations can be high, which might create pressure and anxiety.
• Some might experience their parent's rules as oppressive, leading to a perceived lack of autonomy.
• A possible overdependence on parental approval limits decision-making ability.
Authoritarian
Parents are likely strict, with many rules that are not open to discussion or feedback from their children. They have high expectations but are less nurturing than authoritative parents and may resort to harsh punishments.
When we consider authoritative vs. authoritarian parenting, authoritative parents allow for autonomy and independence, while authoritarian parents don’t. Also, the former focuses on teaching correct behavior, while the latter tends to punish wrong behavior.
When we consider authoritative vs. authoritarian parenting, authoritative parents allow for autonomy and independence, while authoritarian parents don’t. Also, the former focuses on teaching correct behavior, while the latter tends to punish wrong behavior.
Pros and Cons
Nalin notes⁹ the pros below:
• Authoritarian parents emphasize safety, keeping kids away from risky behavior.
• Crystal-clear guidelines and consequences leave no room for ambiguity.
• Children receive guidelines on how to achieve success.
Cons:
• Research¹⁰ indicates that this parenting style can lead to anxiety and depression.
• Kids can suffer from low self-esteem.
• An overreliance on rules may lead to a lack of critical thinking ability.
• A heavy focus on compliance leaves little emphasis on kids' feelings, possibly leading to emotional withdrawal.
• If children get tired of endless rules, they may rebel.
• Authoritarian parents emphasize safety, keeping kids away from risky behavior.
• Crystal-clear guidelines and consequences leave no room for ambiguity.
• Children receive guidelines on how to achieve success.
Cons:
• Research¹⁰ indicates that this parenting style can lead to anxiety and depression.
• Kids can suffer from low self-esteem.
• An overreliance on rules may lead to a lack of critical thinking ability.
• A heavy focus on compliance leaves little emphasis on kids' feelings, possibly leading to emotional withdrawal.
• If children get tired of endless rules, they may rebel.
Permissive
Parents tend to see children as equals, are relaxed and lenient, and don't impose many rules on them. Parents act more like friends than authority figures, rarely using discipline and preferring to let kids figure things out.
Pros and Cons
Pros:
• Kids are free to explore and have adventures, boosting confidence.
• More freedom means opportunities to indulge in different hobbies and pastimes while tapping into creativity.
• Children can express themselves freely and try new things without worrying about consequences.
Cons
Michigan State University outlines¹¹ possible adverse side effects:
• When children aren't required to show good manners at home, they rarely display them elsewhere.
• Kids can have good social skills but may display signs of selfishness.
• Enormous freedom around bedtime, eating snacks, and screens.
• Making decisions without input from parents.
• No boundaries can lead to impulsiveness and aggressive behavior.
• Kids are free to explore and have adventures, boosting confidence.
• More freedom means opportunities to indulge in different hobbies and pastimes while tapping into creativity.
• Children can express themselves freely and try new things without worrying about consequences.
Cons
Michigan State University outlines¹¹ possible adverse side effects:
• When children aren't required to show good manners at home, they rarely display them elsewhere.
• Kids can have good social skills but may display signs of selfishness.
• Enormous freedom around bedtime, eating snacks, and screens.
• Making decisions without input from parents.
• No boundaries can lead to impulsiveness and aggressive behavior.
Parenting Substyles
You may have heard of helicopter parenting, but what about free-range parenting? Here are a few modern sub-styles that can overlap any of the three main parenting styles. Some sub-styles take a more modern approach to the styles described above.
Helicopter
The helicopter term was first coined in 1990¹² to describe parents who hover over their kids like helicopters, ready to swoop in and rescue them from difficult situations and potential disappointments. Some might say they’re overparenting.
For instance, you might see helicopter parents at the playground, keeping a keen watch on their offspring and issuing ‘be careful’ warnings. As their child grows, they might be overinvolved with their kids' homework, diet, exercise, and social lives. Riding every low and high of their child’s life, they’re taking away the child’s opportunity to make decisions and mistakes and learn from them.
For instance, you might see helicopter parents at the playground, keeping a keen watch on their offspring and issuing ‘be careful’ warnings. As their child grows, they might be overinvolved with their kids' homework, diet, exercise, and social lives. Riding every low and high of their child’s life, they’re taking away the child’s opportunity to make decisions and mistakes and learn from them.
Emotional support, open communication, and a warm and caring relationship between parents and kids are often part of helicopter parenting; research finds kids can suffer from poor emotional self-regulation¹³, which can lead to anxiety. Other cons¹⁴ can be a sense of entitlement and undeveloped life skills.
Snowplow
Parents who fall under this substyle are also overinvolved and regularly intervene in their child's life. These parents "plow" through obstacles and challenges, removing them from their child's path rather than allowing the child to navigate and learn from experiences independently.
When we consider snowplow parenting vs. helicopter parenting, snowplow parents don’t swoop in and rescue their children from potential problems. Instead, they anticipate the problem and remove it.
Consider parents¹⁵ who bring kids' homework, backpacks, or permission slips to school in case the child leaves them at home. They might micro-manage their child’s schedule and refrain from putting them down for a particular activity if they think their child will have a steep learning curve. They won’t likely teach their kids life skills like cooking a simple meal or taking a bus alone to help them become independent.
Parents won’t let up as their child grows and will help kids get onto sports teams and college and help manage job interviews. In the short term, kids will receive short-term stress relief. However, they might suffer from anxiety, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of autonomy.
When we consider snowplow parenting vs. helicopter parenting, snowplow parents don’t swoop in and rescue their children from potential problems. Instead, they anticipate the problem and remove it.
Consider parents¹⁵ who bring kids' homework, backpacks, or permission slips to school in case the child leaves them at home. They might micro-manage their child’s schedule and refrain from putting them down for a particular activity if they think their child will have a steep learning curve. They won’t likely teach their kids life skills like cooking a simple meal or taking a bus alone to help them become independent.
Parents won’t let up as their child grows and will help kids get onto sports teams and college and help manage job interviews. In the short term, kids will receive short-term stress relief. However, they might suffer from anxiety, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of autonomy.
Free-range
Free-range parenting values natural consequences, learned independence, and resourcefulness. Parents teach kids essential skills and allow them the freedom to practice them, as advocated by Lenore Skarnezy¹⁶, who let her 9-year-old son ride the subway home alone and wrote a column and later a book about it. She co-founded Let Grow¹⁷, to help give kids independence.
Free-range parenting can be compared to parenting in the 1970s and 1980s when children had the freedom and lots of unstructured time to play outside without supervision. Kids can take public transport by themselves or walk to school by themselves.
Free-range parenting can be compared to parenting in the 1970s and 1980s when children had the freedom and lots of unstructured time to play outside without supervision. Kids can take public transport by themselves or walk to school by themselves.
Kids can enjoy making¹⁸ real choices and decisions and developing a sense of trust and responsibility, all building blocks of self-esteem. Active play and developing social skills are also essential to this sub-style. The downside, however, is that, unlike forty years ago, parents are less likely to rely on a ‘village’ of other parents keeping an eye out, and parents can run foul of child neglect laws¹⁹.
Gentle
British parent Sarah Ockwell Smith²⁰ founded this increasingly popular style based on four elements: empathy, respect, understanding, and boundaries. Like permissive parenting, this approach emphasizes a loving bond between parents and children. However, unlike permissive, consistent boundaries and careful guidelines are essential for gentle parents to manage their children's emotions through empathy.
An example of gentle parenting might be parents helping children enjoy meals by letting them help with preparing the meal and talking through what’s expected before having the meal or letting toddlers release big emotions during a temper tantrum and not trying to stop them (while keeping them safe). When gentle parents expect kids to do something, they’ll talk them through those actions beforehand.
As gentle parenting is relatively new, there aren't many studies to support it. However, it fosters empathy and respect; on the downside, it puts a lot of time pressure on parents and requires absolute consistency to work.
An example of gentle parenting might be parents helping children enjoy meals by letting them help with preparing the meal and talking through what’s expected before having the meal or letting toddlers release big emotions during a temper tantrum and not trying to stop them (while keeping them safe). When gentle parents expect kids to do something, they’ll talk them through those actions beforehand.
As gentle parenting is relatively new, there aren't many studies to support it. However, it fosters empathy and respect; on the downside, it puts a lot of time pressure on parents and requires absolute consistency to work.
Parenting Style Prevalence
Authoritative parenting is most popular among²¹ educated middle-class families of European descent. Over 80%¹ of parents with children under 18 believe the authoritative parenting style is effective for raising children today, 42%¹ believe in authoritarian parenting, and over 30%¹say permissive parenting. Based on these studies, many believe multiple parenting styles can be effective.
Parenting style can reflect elements of culture and class. Melvin L. Kohn²², emeritus professor of sociology at Johns Hopkins University, explained²¹ in his classic study' Class and Conformity' that parents and caregivers emphasize qualities they need for survival when parenting kids - think compliance and obedience in collectivist China, and self-reliance and independence in a more individualist US.
How to Choose a Parenting Style?
It takes time, but here are some things to consider:
• Your parenting goals and values (A goal could be raising strong daughters.)
• Your child's needs and personality
• Your cultural background
• The qualities your child needs to thrive in her world
Above all, try to stay loving and consistent and not take²¹ your child's actions personally but consider the reasons behind her behavior.
Raising kids can be challenging, and while these parenting styles may seem overwhelming, it's important to remember that we may not fit neatly into a particular style. Instead, we find what suits our family, values, and cultural background.
• Your parenting goals and values (A goal could be raising strong daughters.)
• Your child's needs and personality
• Your cultural background
• The qualities your child needs to thrive in her world
Above all, try to stay loving and consistent and not take²¹ your child's actions personally but consider the reasons behind her behavior.
Raising kids can be challenging, and while these parenting styles may seem overwhelming, it's important to remember that we may not fit neatly into a particular style. Instead, we find what suits our family, values, and cultural background.
Sources:
1. What do Americans think about different parenting styles poll
2. Diana B Baumrind
3. Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept - PMC
5. Parenting Styles
6. CredibleMind | Jeff Nalin
7. Authoritative Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist
8. Authoritative parenting style - MSU Extension
9. Authoritarian Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist
11. Permissive parenting style - MSU Extension
12. A Systematic Review of “Helicopter Parenting” and Its Relationship With Anxiety and Depression - PMC
13. Helicopter Parents: Signs & Effects, How to Change | Newport Academy
15. How Snowplow Parenting Impacts Kids, According to a Psychologist
16. Was 'America's worst mom' actually right all along? | RNZ
17. Let Grow Mission and Values | We Believe in Childhood Independence
18. Free-Range Parenting: 6 Pros and Cons
19. State Policies And Updates - Let Grow
20. What is Gentle Parenting? – Sarah Ockwell-Smith
21. 5.6: Parenting Style and Its Correlates - Social Sci LibreTexts
22. Melvin L. Kohn | American Sociological Association
1. What do Americans think about different parenting styles poll
2. Diana B Baumrind
3. Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept - PMC
5. Parenting Styles
6. CredibleMind | Jeff Nalin
7. Authoritative Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist
8. Authoritative parenting style - MSU Extension
9. Authoritarian Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist
11. Permissive parenting style - MSU Extension
12. A Systematic Review of “Helicopter Parenting” and Its Relationship With Anxiety and Depression - PMC
13. Helicopter Parents: Signs & Effects, How to Change | Newport Academy
15. How Snowplow Parenting Impacts Kids, According to a Psychologist
16. Was 'America's worst mom' actually right all along? | RNZ
17. Let Grow Mission and Values | We Believe in Childhood Independence
18. Free-Range Parenting: 6 Pros and Cons
19. State Policies And Updates - Let Grow
20. What is Gentle Parenting? – Sarah Ockwell-Smith
21. 5.6: Parenting Style and Its Correlates - Social Sci LibreTexts
22. Melvin L. Kohn | American Sociological Association
A Practical Breakdown of Parenting Styles
February 20th, 2024
Raising kids can be joyful, rewarding, and fulfilling, but it's also exhausting and demanding. While we might think our approach to parenting is unique, psychologists have classified parents' behavior with their children into different parenting styles.
Three-quarters¹ of US adults think the authoritative parenting style is effective for raising children, but would it suit your family? And what do experts recommend?
You may have heard of authoritative vs authoritarian parenting, and in this article, we will unpack the categories introduced by Diane Baumrind², a research psychologist based at UC Berkeley. We will also examine a few modern sub-styles like snowplow, helicopter, and gentle parenting to help you navigate modern child-rearing.
Three-quarters¹ of US adults think the authoritative parenting style is effective for raising children, but would it suit your family? And what do experts recommend?
You may have heard of authoritative vs authoritarian parenting, and in this article, we will unpack the categories introduced by Diane Baumrind², a research psychologist based at UC Berkeley. We will also examine a few modern sub-styles like snowplow, helicopter, and gentle parenting to help you navigate modern child-rearing.
The Parenting Styles Classified by Diane Baumrind
A parenting style describes a set of child-rearing practices. In 1967, Baumrind categorized³ three parenting styles:
• Authoritarian
• Authoritative
• Permissive (also known as indulgent).
Researchers added the neglectful parenting style later.
Baumrind observed that strict parental control was losing popularity among white middle-class parents in the US. In favor of a compromise between authoritarian and permissive parenting, she proposed authoritative parenting.
• Authoritarian
• Authoritative
• Permissive (also known as indulgent).
Researchers added the neglectful parenting style later.
Baumrind observed that strict parental control was losing popularity among white middle-class parents in the US. In favor of a compromise between authoritarian and permissive parenting, she proposed authoritative parenting.
Authoritative
According to Baumrind, authoritative parenting is the highest standard. It means parents use positive strategies to teach critical thinking and reinforce positive, responsible behavior. Research shows⁴ that authoritative parenting results in positive psychological outcomes and better mental health.
The American Psychological Association⁵ describes this style as warm, nurturing, responsive, and supportive, with firm limits for children. Parents teach kids morals, values, and goals by explaining why they set rules and listen to their child's point of view but may not always accept it.
Jeff Nalin, Ph. D.⁶, a licensed clinical psychologist, tells⁷ Parents: "They encourage their children to express themselves and contribute to problem-solving, but they don't provide excessive rules or unrealistic expectations."
The American Psychological Association⁵ describes this style as warm, nurturing, responsive, and supportive, with firm limits for children. Parents teach kids morals, values, and goals by explaining why they set rules and listen to their child's point of view but may not always accept it.
Jeff Nalin, Ph. D.⁶, a licensed clinical psychologist, tells⁷ Parents: "They encourage their children to express themselves and contribute to problem-solving, but they don't provide excessive rules or unrealistic expectations."
Pros and Cons
Michigan University⁸ sums up the positive effects on children:
• A tendency for high self-esteem and self-confidence.
• A warm and close relationship with parents thanks to clear and firm guidelines.
• Kids tend to be responsible.
• An ability to manage aggression.
• Kids are likely happy and successful.
Cons:
• Expectations can be high, which might create pressure and anxiety.
• Some might experience their parent's rules as oppressive, leading to a perceived lack of autonomy.
• A possible overdependence on parental approval limits decision-making ability.
• A tendency for high self-esteem and self-confidence.
• A warm and close relationship with parents thanks to clear and firm guidelines.
• Kids tend to be responsible.
• An ability to manage aggression.
• Kids are likely happy and successful.
Cons:
• Expectations can be high, which might create pressure and anxiety.
• Some might experience their parent's rules as oppressive, leading to a perceived lack of autonomy.
• A possible overdependence on parental approval limits decision-making ability.
Authoritarian
Parents are likely strict, with many rules that are not open to discussion or feedback from their children. They have high expectations but are less nurturing than authoritative parents and may resort to harsh punishments.
When we consider authoritative vs. authoritarian parenting, authoritative parents allow for autonomy and independence, while authoritarian parents don’t. Also, the former focuses on teaching correct behavior, while the latter tends to punish wrong behavior.
When we consider authoritative vs. authoritarian parenting, authoritative parents allow for autonomy and independence, while authoritarian parents don’t. Also, the former focuses on teaching correct behavior, while the latter tends to punish wrong behavior.
Pros and Cons
Nalin notes⁹ the pros below:
• Authoritarian parents emphasize safety, keeping kids away from risky behavior.
• Crystal-clear guidelines and consequences leave no room for ambiguity.
• Children receive guidelines on how to achieve success.
Cons:
• Research¹⁰ indicates that this parenting style can lead to anxiety and depression.
• Kids can suffer from low self-esteem.
• An overreliance on rules may lead to a lack of critical thinking ability.
• A heavy focus on compliance leaves little emphasis on kids' feelings, possibly leading to emotional withdrawal.
• If children get tired of endless rules, they may rebel.
• Authoritarian parents emphasize safety, keeping kids away from risky behavior.
• Crystal-clear guidelines and consequences leave no room for ambiguity.
• Children receive guidelines on how to achieve success.
Cons:
• Research¹⁰ indicates that this parenting style can lead to anxiety and depression.
• Kids can suffer from low self-esteem.
• An overreliance on rules may lead to a lack of critical thinking ability.
• A heavy focus on compliance leaves little emphasis on kids' feelings, possibly leading to emotional withdrawal.
• If children get tired of endless rules, they may rebel.
Permissive
Parents tend to see children as equals, are relaxed and lenient, and don't impose many rules on them. Parents act more like friends than authority figures, rarely using discipline and preferring to let kids figure things out.
Pros and Cons
Pros:
• Kids are free to explore and have adventures, boosting confidence.
• More freedom means opportunities to indulge in different hobbies and pastimes while tapping into creativity.
• Children can express themselves freely and try new things without worrying about consequences.
Cons
• Michigan State University outlines¹¹ possible adverse side effects:
• When children aren't required to show good manners at home, they rarely display them elsewhere.
• Kids can have good social skills but may display signs of selfishness.
• Enormous freedom around bedtime, eating snacks, and screens.
• Making decisions without input from parents.
• Kids are free to explore and have adventures, boosting confidence.
• More freedom means opportunities to indulge in different hobbies and pastimes while tapping into creativity.
• Children can express themselves freely and try new things without worrying about consequences.
Cons
• Michigan State University outlines¹¹ possible adverse side effects:
• When children aren't required to show good manners at home, they rarely display them elsewhere.
• Kids can have good social skills but may display signs of selfishness.
• Enormous freedom around bedtime, eating snacks, and screens.
• Making decisions without input from parents.
• No boundaries can lead to impulsiveness and aggressive behavior.
Parenting Substyles
You may have heard of helicopter parenting, but what about free-range parenting? Here are a few modern sub-styles that can overlap any of the three main parenting styles. Some sub-styles take a more modern approach to the styles described above.
Helicopter
The helicopter term was first coined in 1990¹² to describe parents who hover over their kids like helicopters, ready to swoop in and rescue them from difficult situations and potential disappointments. Some might say they’re overparenting.
For instance, you might see helicopter parents at the playground, keeping a keen watch on their offspring and issuing ‘be careful’ warnings. As their child grows, they might be overinvolved with their kids' homework, diet, exercise, and social lives. Riding every low and high of their child’s life, they’re taking away the child’s opportunity to make decisions and mistakes and learn from them.
For instance, you might see helicopter parents at the playground, keeping a keen watch on their offspring and issuing ‘be careful’ warnings. As their child grows, they might be overinvolved with their kids' homework, diet, exercise, and social lives. Riding every low and high of their child’s life, they’re taking away the child’s opportunity to make decisions and mistakes and learn from them.
Emotional support, open communication, and a warm and caring relationship between parents and kids are often part of helicopter parenting; research finds kids can suffer from poor emotional self-regulation¹³, which can lead to anxiety. Other cons¹⁴ can be a sense of entitlement and undeveloped life skills.
Snowplow
Parents who fall under this substyle are also overinvolved and regularly intervene in their child's life. These parents "plow" through obstacles and challenges, removing them from their child's path rather than allowing the child to navigate and learn from experiences independently.
When we consider snowplow parenting vs. helicopter parenting, snowplow parents don’t swoop in and rescue their children from potential problems. Instead, they anticipate the problem and remove it.
Consider parents¹⁵ who bring kids' homework, backpacks, or permission slips to school in case the child leaves them at home. They might micro-manage their child’s schedule and refrain from putting them down for a particular activity if they think their child will have a steep learning curve. They won’t likely teach their kids life skills like cooking a simple meal or taking a bus alone to help them become independent.
Parents won’t let up as their child grows and will help kids get onto sports teams and college and help manage job interviews. In the short term, kids will receive short-term stress relief. However, they might suffer from anxiety, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of autonomy.
When we consider snowplow parenting vs. helicopter parenting, snowplow parents don’t swoop in and rescue their children from potential problems. Instead, they anticipate the problem and remove it.
Consider parents¹⁵ who bring kids' homework, backpacks, or permission slips to school in case the child leaves them at home. They might micro-manage their child’s schedule and refrain from putting them down for a particular activity if they think their child will have a steep learning curve. They won’t likely teach their kids life skills like cooking a simple meal or taking a bus alone to help them become independent.
Parents won’t let up as their child grows and will help kids get onto sports teams and college and help manage job interviews. In the short term, kids will receive short-term stress relief. However, they might suffer from anxiety, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of autonomy.
Free-range
Free-range parenting values natural consequences, learned independence, and resourcefulness. Parents teach kids essential skills and allow them the freedom to practice them, as advocated by Lenore Skarnezy¹⁶, who let her 9-year-old son ride the subway home alone and wrote a column and later a book about it. She co-founded Let Grow¹⁷, to help give kids independence.
Free-range parenting can be compared to parenting in the 1970s and 1980s when children had the freedom and lots of unstructured time to play outside without supervision. Kids can take public transport by themselves or walk to school by themselves.
Kids can enjoy making¹⁸ real choices and decisions and developing a sense of trust and responsibility, all building blocks of self-esteem. Active play and developing social skills are also essential to this sub-style. The downside, however, is that, unlike forty years ago, parents are less likely to rely on a ‘village’ of other parents keeping an eye out, and parents can run foul of child neglect laws¹⁹.
Free-range parenting can be compared to parenting in the 1970s and 1980s when children had the freedom and lots of unstructured time to play outside without supervision. Kids can take public transport by themselves or walk to school by themselves.
Kids can enjoy making¹⁸ real choices and decisions and developing a sense of trust and responsibility, all building blocks of self-esteem. Active play and developing social skills are also essential to this sub-style. The downside, however, is that, unlike forty years ago, parents are less likely to rely on a ‘village’ of other parents keeping an eye out, and parents can run foul of child neglect laws¹⁹.
Gentle
British parent Sarah Ockwell Smith²⁰ founded this increasingly popular style based on four elements: empathy, respect, understanding, and boundaries. Like permissive parenting, this approach emphasizes a loving bond between parents and children. However, unlike permissive, consistent boundaries and careful guidelines are essential for gentle parents to manage their children's emotions through empathy.
An example of gentle parenting might be parents helping children enjoy meals by letting them help with preparing the meal and talking through what’s expected before having the meal or letting toddlers release big emotions during a temper tantrum and not trying to stop them (while keeping them safe). When gentle parents expect kids to do something, they’ll talk them through those actions beforehand.
As gentle parenting is relatively new, there aren't many studies to support it. However, it fosters empathy and respect; on the downside, it puts a lot of time pressure on parents and requires absolute consistency to work.
An example of gentle parenting might be parents helping children enjoy meals by letting them help with preparing the meal and talking through what’s expected before having the meal or letting toddlers release big emotions during a temper tantrum and not trying to stop them (while keeping them safe). When gentle parents expect kids to do something, they’ll talk them through those actions beforehand.
As gentle parenting is relatively new, there aren't many studies to support it. However, it fosters empathy and respect; on the downside, it puts a lot of time pressure on parents and requires absolute consistency to work.
Parenting Style Prevalence
Authoritative parenting is most popular among²¹ educated middle-class families of European descent. Over 80%¹ of parents with children under 18 believe the authoritative parenting style is effective for raising children today, 42%¹ believe in authoritarian parenting, and over 30%¹say permissive parenting. Based on these studies, many believe multiple parenting styles can be effective.
Parenting style can reflect elements of culture and class. Melvin L. Kohn²², emeritus professor of sociology at Johns Hopkins University, explained²¹ in his classic study' Class and Conformity' that parents and caregivers emphasize qualities they need for survival when parenting kids - think compliance and obedience in collectivist China, and self-reliance and independence in a more individualist US.
Parenting style can reflect elements of culture and class. Melvin L. Kohn²², emeritus professor of sociology at Johns Hopkins University, explained²¹ in his classic study' Class and Conformity' that parents and caregivers emphasize qualities they need for survival when parenting kids - think compliance and obedience in collectivist China, and self-reliance and independence in a more individualist US.
How to Choose a Parenting Style?
It takes time, but here are some things to consider:
• Your parenting goals and values (A goal could be raising strong daughters.)
• Your child's needs and personality
• Your cultural background
• The qualities your child needs to thrive in her world
Above all, try to stay loving and consistent and not take²¹ your child's actions personally but consider the reasons behind her behavior.
Raising kids can be challenging, and while these parenting styles may seem overwhelming, it's important to remember that we may not fit neatly into a particular style. Instead, we find what suits our family, values, and cultural background.
• Your parenting goals and values (A goal could be raising strong daughters.)
• Your child's needs and personality
• Your cultural background
• The qualities your child needs to thrive in her world
Above all, try to stay loving and consistent and not take²¹ your child's actions personally but consider the reasons behind her behavior.
Raising kids can be challenging, and while these parenting styles may seem overwhelming, it's important to remember that we may not fit neatly into a particular style. Instead, we find what suits our family, values, and cultural background.
Sources:
1. What do Americans think about different parenting styles poll
2. Diana B Baumrind
3. Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept - PMC
5. Parenting Styles
6. CredibleMind | Jeff Nalin
7. Authoritative Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist
8. Authoritative parenting style - MSU Extension
9. Authoritarian Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist
11. Permissive parenting style - MSU Extension
12. A Systematic Review of “Helicopter Parenting” and Its Relationship With Anxiety and Depression - PMC
13. Helicopter Parents: Signs & Effects, How to Change | Newport Academy
15. How Snowplow Parenting Impacts Kids, According to a Psychologist
16. Was 'America's worst mom' actually right all along? | RNZ
17. Let Grow Mission and Values | We Believe in Childhood Independence
18. Free-Range Parenting: 6 Pros and Cons
19. State Policies And Updates - Let Grow
20. What is Gentle Parenting? – Sarah Ockwell-Smith
21. 5.6: Parenting Style and Its Correlates - Social Sci LibreTexts
22. Melvin L. Kohn | American Sociological Association
1. What do Americans think about different parenting styles poll
2. Diana B Baumrind
3. Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept - PMC
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6. CredibleMind | Jeff Nalin
7. Authoritative Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist
8. Authoritative parenting style - MSU Extension
9. Authoritarian Parenting: The Pros and Cons, According to a Child Psychologist
11. Permissive parenting style - MSU Extension
12. A Systematic Review of “Helicopter Parenting” and Its Relationship With Anxiety and Depression - PMC
13. Helicopter Parents: Signs & Effects, How to Change | Newport Academy
15. How Snowplow Parenting Impacts Kids, According to a Psychologist
16. Was 'America's worst mom' actually right all along? | RNZ
17. Let Grow Mission and Values | We Believe in Childhood Independence
18. Free-Range Parenting: 6 Pros and Cons
19. State Policies And Updates - Let Grow
20. What is Gentle Parenting? – Sarah Ockwell-Smith
21. 5.6: Parenting Style and Its Correlates - Social Sci LibreTexts
22. Melvin L. Kohn | American Sociological Association