How to Be a Good Role Model for Your Daughter


A big part of being a parent is trying to figure out how to raise good kids. One thing that can make a huge difference is giving them a positive role model. Studies show that kids who have role models in their lives do better in school and have higher self-esteem compared to kids who don’t. Higher self-esteem can drive them to want to succeed and help them settle into good careers when they get older.

So, who do kids see as their role models?

A survey by the Horatio Alger Association found that more than 75 percent of kids consider family members, family friends, and other close adults their role models. That means we have a lot of work to do!

What can you do to be a good role model for your daughter? Let’s take a look.


Instill the importance of self-confidence

We all have our days when we don’t feel like Wonder Woman, but that doesn’t mean we can’t teach our daughters to have the confidence they need to succeed in the world. Try not to get down on yourself because your daughter will pick up on those vibes and think that it’s okay for her to do the same.

This can be very challenging, but modeling self-love can have a real impact on our daughters.

We want our daughters to know that having confidence and believing in yourself is a good thing—it’s not arrogance. Having self-confidence doesn’t mean you think you’re better than everyone else. It means that you believe you are the best “you” that you can be and that “you’ve got this” even when you worry you don’t. We can model this and talk about this with our girls.

Let her be independent

Resist the urge to do everything for your daughter. Teach her how to do things on her own. Be sure that she understands that independent women are strong women. This can start at a young age by letting girls do small household tasks on their own. Over time, build up to letting them make their own decisions and doing more independently, even if you don’t wholeheartedly agree. Part of independence is learning consequences. If she fails, so what? She’ll learn something from that too.


Let her see you fail and teach tenacity in the process

While you may think that allowing your daughter to see your failures could make you a bad role model, letting her see you fail can at times be helpful. It can teach girls that everyone takes a fall every now again. It’s how you dust yourself off that really counts. Do you sulk in the corner and binge watch Netflix for days because you failed? No. You figure out what went wrong and chalk it up to a learning experience. Teach them to be tenacious and to keep on going no matter what obstacles might get in their way.

Confidence, independence and tenacity are important building blocks for strong women. It’s time to start modeling those qualities for them now.

Melissa Foley