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#LoveHerselfChallenge

We're challenging moms and daughters to practice self-love for 10 days, because this is something we all struggle with. Hopscotch Girls is focused on building girls' confidence and self-esteem, and WE ARE ALL powerful role models.


Just follow the following actions for 10 days—one per day.

Day 1: Get To Know Yourself

Get to know yourself today by spending a couple of minutes making a list of your strengths. Ex: I try hard, I am very loving, I care about people.


Share your list online with the hashtag #LoveHerselfChallenge.


Psychotherapist Dr. Sharon Martin says,

"Loving yourself can be one of the hardest, yet most important things you’ll ever do."

Today's challenge comes from her list of 22 ways to love yourself. Knowing yourself is important. As Dr. Martin writes, "It’s impossible to love yourself if you don’t even know who you are. Invest in discovering what you believe, value, and like."

Day 2: Write Yourself a Love Note

Practice showing yourself some love with a love note. Write one, or a bunch! Ex: You are beautiful, you are strong, you are capable.

 

Share your note(s) online with the hashtag #LoveHerselfChallenge.


LaQuista Erinna, PhD, clinical social worker and owner of THRIVE Behavioral Health & Consulting suggests writing yourself notes highlighting some of your "positive skills or traits" and leaving them around the house. 

As she says, "...place each note around your home—on the bathroom mirror, next to your lamp, on the cabinet, on the fridge, etc—to serve as daily reminders of just how awesome you are."

Day 3: Treat Yourself Like a Friend

Keep an eye out for negative self talk, and if you catch yourself doing it, try thinking about how you'd talk to your daughter or a friend if she were in a similar situation. Try to extend that same compassion to yourself.

 

Let us know how it goes by posting online with the hashtag #LoveHerselfChallenge.


Dr. Kristin Neff, PhD and Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at UT Austin recommends considering how you would treat a friend when battling negative self talk. 

As she says, "...Think about times when a close friend feels really bad about him or herself or is really struggling in some way. How would you respond to your friend in this situation? ...Now think about times when you feel bad about yourself or are struggling. How do you typically respond to yourself in these situations? ...Did you notice a difference?"


"Why not try treating yourself like a good friend and see what happens?"

Day 4: Practice Gratitude

Make a list of things you're thankful for, including 5 things about yourself. Ex: I am thankful for my family, I am thankful for my sense of humor, etc.

 

Let us know how it goes by sharing your list online with the hashtag #LoveHerselfChallenge.


Many experts recommend gratitude as a way to build self-love. 

Psychotherapist Dr. Sharon Martin says,"Gratitude is one of the simplest ways to focus on the good in yourself and in your life," and Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. suggests we "try taking a moment each day to notice the things about yourself that you’re grateful for."

Day 5: Accept Compliments

When someone compliments you today, just say thank you! Resist deflecting or explaining away the compliment.

 

Let us know how it goes by sharing your experience online with the hashtag #LoveHerselfChallenge.


Accepting compliments can be surprisingly tough. The Harvard Business Review found that:

Nearly 70% of people experience embarrassment or discomfort when they're recognized by others. 

That's why Mark Goulston, business psychiatrist, recommends that we practice saying thank you. As he says, "The more comfortable you become at accepting recognition, the more comfortable you will be with giving it."

Day 6: Acknowledge Your Reality

Has something made it more difficult for you to love yourself? Acknowledge the oppression, trauma or challenges that have made things tough for you.

 

Let us know how it goes by sharing your experience online with the hashtag #LoveHerselfChallenge.


Too much positivity can be toxic. The reality is that the deck is stacked against many people. Acknowledging the things that have been weighing on you and holding you back can be deeply therapeutic.

Psychologist Adia Gooden, PhD, says, “Some people start to neglect their physical, emotional, and mental needs in the process of trying to prove, on an outward level, that they’re worthy and that they deserve respect.”

If this brings up a lot for you, it's best to continue this exploration with a therapist.

Day 7: Reach Out to Others

If something's really bothering you, it can be helpful for someone else to validate that pain. So reach out to someone to talk.

 

Let us know how it goes by sharing your experience online with the hashtag #LoveHerselfChallenge.

Psychologist Catherine Moore says, "When we talk with others, we realize that we’re not alone in feeling pain at different times. It’s an important part of reaffirming our sense of connectedness, reframing our perceived problems within the ‘bigger picture’, and building social support networks that are invaluable to wellbeing."

Validation can make self-compassion a little bit easier.

Day 8: Show Your Body Some Love

Show your body some TLC with a lounge sesh, a walk outside, self-massage, or anything that you'd enjoy.

 

Let us know how it goes by sharing your experience online with the hashtag #LoveHerselfChallenge.


Harvard Health suggests giving your self-compassion skills a "boost" by comforting your body.

"Eat something healthy. Lie down and rest. Massage your own neck, feet, or hands. Take a walk. Anything you can do to improve how you feel physically gives you a dose of self-compassion."

A nature walk sounds pretty good to us!

Day 9: Recognize Self-Kindness

Take note when others practice self-kindness. 


Let us know what you see or hear by posting online with the hashtag #LoveHerselfChallenge.


We're challenging moms and daughters to practice self-love for 10 days. Hopscotch Girls is all about building girls' confidence and self-esteem, and WE ARE ALL powerful role models.


University of Utah Health suggests that we get accustomed with self-kindness by noticing the actions of the people around us. They suggest, 

"Recognize acts of self-kindness when checking in with teams or individuals. ('I’m so glad to hear that you are taking time to recover on your days off.')"

We're so glad that you're considering this challenge and are taking a moment for yourself.

Day 10: Fight Back With Facts

Fight back against negative self-talk by recounting a situation to yourself using just the facts—no judgement.


Let us know how it goes by posting online with the hashtag #LoveHerselfChallenge.


Psychologist Alexandra Solomon, PhD, says we can limit our pain by stopping our negative talk. Adia Gooden, PhD, says, “Is there any evidence against these thoughts? Is there anything you can identify that makes things seem less bleak? You’re not denying reality, but instead pointing out all the things that exist at once.” She also recommends asking yourself, “Where is that story coming from?” and “Is it actually true?” 

She adds, "“It’s exciting to realize that negative patterns, like being severely critical of your body or abilities, can stop with you.”

We hope you've felt loved over these last 10 days. Thank you for joining us for the #LoveHerselfChallenge!

Keep Up the Love!

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