Preparing your daughter for her first period can seem daunting, and you may never feel ready to have the talk. But shedding your discomfort will help reduce her anxiety when the time comes.

Also, with 40% of US teens¹ confused and unprepared for their first period and 42%¹ saying their health teacher seems uncomfortable discussing menstruation, it’s important to normalize menstrual health.

How can you best prepare your daughter for her first period? Take a deep breath and read our menstruation conversation guide with expert tips on turning a potentially awkward ‘talk’ into a series of supportive, kind, and open conversations.

Discover how to talk to your daughter about her first period without overwhelming her, how to spot the signs of her first period, and when you should start the conversation.

The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development² says puberty can start at eight², so eight or nine is a good age to start.

If you prefer to wait a while, use her development as a guide, but remember that the average age for the first period (menarche) is twelve³. Once she has breast buds, her period will take one or two years.

Inform⁴ yourself beforehand, so you can answer any questions she may have. However, if you don’t know how to bring it up, find out what she knows already.  

For instance, you could ask: ‘Do you know anyone who has started her period yet?’ Then an open-ended question like: ‘Are you curious about it?’ will give you an idea of how much she knows and how you need to approach the conversation.

Alternatively, watch a movie like Turning Red⁵ (PG rating) together and discuss it afterward.

Be mindful that one big conversation could overwhelm her; a series of informal chats might be more effective.

However, when your daughter is six or seven, she may see an ad for period products and wonder what they are.

When this happens, a simple, age-appropriate explanation using anatomically correct language will suffice. Something in the way of: “Women bleed a little from their vagina every month, and we call it a period. They use pads to catch the blood, so it won’t leave stains on their underwear.”

It may be challenging initially, but keep in mind that being prepared for her first period will make the experience much more manageable.

Statistics bear this out. A recent YouGov survey⁶ shows that among women who felt they were not at all prepared, a whopping 47%⁶  said their first period was a very negative experience.

Use one of your conversations to demonstrate how (cloth or disposable) pads or period underwear works. The idea of tampons might overwhelm your daughter, so leave these out.

Show her how to put a pad in her underwear and dispose of it. Answer any questions she may have about logistics and stains, and talk about your own experiences.

If your daughter suffers from a fear of blood, explain she’ll only lose around three tablespoons of blood monthly, and you can show how much this is by putting three tablespoons of, say, juice in a cup.

Prepare a few period pouches with pads, clean underwear, and a pair of pants, and keep them in her locker, backpack, and/or sports bag. This way, you’ll help manage her anxiety in case her first period happens when she’s away from home.

Involving dad from the start will normalize periods for your daughter, making it easier for her to talk to dad whenever she has questions.

Your partner may not have learned much about periods growing up, but he can use this opportunity to discover more with his daughter. How? Involving him in some of your conversations will help demystify periods for him.

If your daughter has brothers, explain periods to them and answer any questions they may have. When boys know what periods are, they can become more understanding and empathetic towards their sister(s).

It’s good to know that only 7% of teens⁸ or less experience cramping during their first year of menstruation. So try not to overwhelm her with all the (potential) physical symptoms she can expect to suffer from.

Cara Natterson, MD, pediatrician and author of The Care and Keeping of You series, advises⁹, “Don’t jump in there with a laundry list of things that some people find uncomfortable,” She argues⁹  it’s better to deal with symptoms if and when they arrive.

Above all, emphasizing menstruation is not a monthly sickness and that it won’t stop her from playing sports will empower her.

Highlight the importance of self-care every month and explain menstrual hygiene¹⁰.

Now you know how to talk about menstruation with your daughter, but how can you tell when she will have her first period?

There are a few signs¹¹ to watch out for: