For kids, getting their first smartphone is a milestone on the way to adulthood, heralding a new independence.

But for parents, the decision to hand one over is usually fraught; does it open a portal to unrealistic beauty standards, cyberbullying, mature content, predators, and unlimited screen time?

Interestingly, three-quarters of US parents don't think it's acceptable for kids under twelve to have a smartphone, yet 42%¹ of kids own one by age 10. And, if your daughter wants one, you might struggle with the dilemma of delaying versus giving in.

So should you wait?

Science says yes. Research shows waiting is better, with one notable study² linking the age of the first smartphone to mental well-being.

But if you delay, would your daughter feel excluded? How long should you wait? And are there safe phone alternatives to keep in touch?

We share the answers to all your questions in our deep dive below.

A recent Sapien Labs global study² finds that the later a child receives her first cell phone, the better her mental well-being is as an adult.

Young girls who had been given a smartphone under age ten suffered more mental health challenges in adult life than girls who received one later, with mental health scores showing they're either dealing with or at risk of a severe mental health condition.

There is more evidence that smartphones pose a risk to childhood. Several bodies of research³ connect smartphone and social media usage to increased suicidal thoughts, self-harm, mental distress, and sleep deprivation.

Increasingly, educational experts have issued warnings about mobile phones disrupting children's education, prompting Unesco's call⁴ for a global ban on smartphones in schools. France, Italy, and Finland⁵ have already done so, and high schools like St. Andrew's in Delaware⁶ are experimenting with low phone policies.

When do kids get their first mobile phone? Common Sense Media¹ reports that 71% of twelve-year-olds own a phone. By the time kids turn 14, 91% own one.

When should you cave? Max Stossel⁷, CEO of Social Awakening, promotes healthy use of technology and advises parents to delay until at least 8th grade, perhaps using a smartphone alternative.

He points out⁸: "Eleven-year-old kids are just too young to have these supercomputers pointed at their brains, often preying on their self-image, or their hormones, to keep their attention."

The parent movement, 'Wait until 8th'⁹, allows parents to pledge to do so and puts them in touch with other parents in their community to rally together and resist child lobbying.

However, some experts⁸ argue it's not age that counts but maturity. So, is your daughter mature enough to use a smartphone?

Consider her emotional development if you're unsure whether your child is ready. Ask yourself:

Deciding to wait might end your dilemma, but it does pose the question: Will your daughter feel left out?

Preventing your child from missing out can be tricky, but it's not impossible.

Kids are resilient and creative. Sonia Livingstone¹⁰, professor of social psychology at the London School of Economics, UK, and co-author of the book Parenting for a Digital Future, concurs¹¹.

"Children who are reasonably confident and sociable will find workarounds and be part of the group," she says. "After all, most of their social life is at school, mostly they see each other every day anyway."

But if you're not convinced, there are a few things you can do to limit relentless child lobbying:

If you're happy with your child owning a phone for texting and calling, consider these popular smartphone alternatives below.

Research suggests12 parents mostly buy smartphones to contact their kids, and vice versa. But you don't need internet access to do this. Here are the best cell phones for young children: