Empowering Your Daughter Through Positive Affirmations
AUGUST 15TH, 2023
Can telling yourself you’re a good person turn you into one?
If your daughter lacks confidence on the soccer field, will daily self-talk affirming she’s capable of smoothly depositing the ball in the back of the net result in more wins?
Positive affirmations are phrases designed to challenge automatic negative thoughts. Widely used in sports psychology, Olympians use them for a robust mental outlook on the competition.
They can boost self-esteem, motivate you, or encourage productive changes in your life.
So how do they work? Are they effective or harmful, as some experts have suggested? Let’s examine the science and discover how to avoid unhelpful self-talk while designing the most effective and meaningful positive affirmations based on your core values.
If your daughter lacks confidence on the soccer field, will daily self-talk affirming she’s capable of smoothly depositing the ball in the back of the net result in more wins?
Positive affirmations are phrases designed to challenge automatic negative thoughts. Widely used in sports psychology, Olympians use them for a robust mental outlook on the competition.
They can boost self-esteem, motivate you, or encourage productive changes in your life.
So how do they work? Are they effective or harmful, as some experts have suggested? Let’s examine the science and discover how to avoid unhelpful self-talk while designing the most effective and meaningful positive affirmations based on your core values.
What Is the Science Behind Affirmations?
Positive affirmations are based on well-established psychological theory. One is the self-affirmation theory, which explains that people naturally use self-affirmation as a survival mechanism to maintain their self-worth when faced with threats (criticism, failing tests, etc.). According to the theory, when people use specific positive phrases regularly, they can restore self-competence by reflecting on their core values and self-belief.
Let’s consider the three ideas supporting this theory:
Let’s consider the three ideas supporting this theory:
- Through self-affirmation, we can maintain a story of ourselves in which we are moral, flexible, and quick to adapt to change, helping us to view ourselves in various identities: a parent, daughter, leader, etc.
- We don’t need to be perfect, just competent in the areas we value most.
- We use positive phrases not because we want to get a pat on the back but because we want to deserve praise for acting in a way consistent with that specific value.
On the back of the self-affirmation theory, MRI scans prove specific neural pathways increase when we practice positive self-talk.
The Benefits of Positive Affirmations
According to a vast body of literature, positive affirmations can increase well-being, improve education, make people more open to behavioral change, and improve relationships.
Also, several studies found specific benefits:
Also, several studies found specific benefits:
- Positive affirmations can lower stress and overthinking.
- This study shows self-affirmations can help people improve problem-solving under stress.
- A series of 10-minute self-affirming exercises written by minority students helped raise their achievements.
What’s more, sports psychologists tend to believe mental conditioning can optimize performance.
Top Athletes Use Affirmations. Here’s Why
“I am capable of winning. I deserve to win. I will win.” - an affirmation used by Valarie Allman - an Olympic discus gold medalist, just before winning gold in Tokyo in 2021.
An insightful study by Lucie Finez highlighted the benefit affirmations had on athletes’ limiting beliefs.
When athletes participated in self-affirmations, they were less likely to blame adverse outcomes on outside circumstances and instead took responsibility while learning valuable lessons.
Positive affirmations can mean the difference between 1st or 2nd place for contenders, but do they work for everyone?
An insightful study by Lucie Finez highlighted the benefit affirmations had on athletes’ limiting beliefs.
When athletes participated in self-affirmations, they were less likely to blame adverse outcomes on outside circumstances and instead took responsibility while learning valuable lessons.
Positive affirmations can mean the difference between 1st or 2nd place for contenders, but do they work for everyone?
Can Affirmations Be Damaging?
Some studies suggest affirmations have no effect; others have shown that affirmations can negatively affect mood and self-esteem.
Positive affirmations work if we focus on our strengths rather than our weaknesses. But if we use phrases that go against our core beliefs about ourselves, our brain will reject them.
Take someone who has struggled with her weight all her life; if she tells herself she accepts her body, her affirmation may be ineffective as it doesn’t align with her true belief about herself.
This chasm between self-talk and belief can lead to a decrease in mood and self-esteem. Ironically, self-affirmations may work better for people with high rather than low self-esteem, according to a study conducted by Joanne Wood, professor of psychology at the University of Waterloo.
Experts say affirmations are more likely to work if you follow these guidelines.
Positive affirmations work if we focus on our strengths rather than our weaknesses. But if we use phrases that go against our core beliefs about ourselves, our brain will reject them.
Take someone who has struggled with her weight all her life; if she tells herself she accepts her body, her affirmation may be ineffective as it doesn’t align with her true belief about herself.
This chasm between self-talk and belief can lead to a decrease in mood and self-esteem. Ironically, self-affirmations may work better for people with high rather than low self-esteem, according to a study conducted by Joanne Wood, professor of psychology at the University of Waterloo.
Experts say affirmations are more likely to work if you follow these guidelines.
How to Design & Use Affirmations Effectively
Affirmations may be most effective if they’re:
- Realistic
- Specific
- Meaningful to you
- Possible
- Set in the present
- Reflective of your core values
They must also be followed by action; change will only happen if you step towards it. Combining affirmations of kindness with acts of kindness might yield results more quickly.
Affirmations promoting a growth mindset are more effective than trait generalization. For instance: “I can learn how to calculate these sums” vs. “I’m good at numbers.”
A good rule of thumb: use “I can” rather than “I am.”
This leads us to our first question: Can telling yourself you’re a good person turn you into one? Probably not, unless you take action towards becoming a good person. Also, a value statement like this may backfire as it allows you to judge yourself.
However, the soccer affirmation is more specific, realistic, and possible, so worth a go.
If your daughter does suffer from a lack of confidence on the field, try these:
Affirmations promoting a growth mindset are more effective than trait generalization. For instance: “I can learn how to calculate these sums” vs. “I’m good at numbers.”
A good rule of thumb: use “I can” rather than “I am.”
This leads us to our first question: Can telling yourself you’re a good person turn you into one? Probably not, unless you take action towards becoming a good person. Also, a value statement like this may backfire as it allows you to judge yourself.
However, the soccer affirmation is more specific, realistic, and possible, so worth a go.
If your daughter does suffer from a lack of confidence on the field, try these:
- Even professional soccer players have to start somewhere.
- I practice my ball-handling skills.
- I will cheer myself on during the whole game.
- I practice kicks and get better every time.
Use these if your daughter needs some help with her general confidence:
- Even professional soccer players have to start somewhere.
- I practice my ball-handling skills.
- I will cheer myself on during the whole game.
- I practice kicks and get better every time.
Here’s how to help her use self-affirmations effectively:
- Spend at least 3 to 5 minutes daily doing them.
- Repeat each one ten times, say it with intent, and believe them.
- Set goals and record them in your journal.
- Use visualization.
- Stay consistent—say them at the same time every day.
- Be patient; it can take a while before they bear fruit.
- Practicing gratitude can help to prioritize important values.
Positive affirmations can be a powerful mental health tool to boost self-esteem and motivation and help affect positive change. Follow our suggestions above to create affirmations that are helpful rather than harmful.
Empowering Your Daughter Through Positive Affirmations
AUGUST 15TH, 2023
Can telling yourself you’re a good person turn you into one?
If your daughter lacks confidence on the soccer field, will daily self-talk affirming she’s capable of smoothly depositing the ball in the back of the net result in more wins?
Positive affirmations are phrases designed to challenge automatic negative thoughts. Widely used in sports psychology, Olympians use them for a robust mental outlook on the competition.
They can boost self-esteem, motivate you, or encourage productive changes in your life.
So how do they work? Are they effective or harmful, as some experts have suggested? Let’s examine the science and discover how to avoid unhelpful self-talk while designing the most effective and meaningful positive affirmations based on your core values.
If your daughter lacks confidence on the soccer field, will daily self-talk affirming she’s capable of smoothly depositing the ball in the back of the net result in more wins?
Positive affirmations are phrases designed to challenge automatic negative thoughts. Widely used in sports psychology, Olympians use them for a robust mental outlook on the competition.
They can boost self-esteem, motivate you, or encourage productive changes in your life.
So how do they work? Are they effective or harmful, as some experts have suggested? Let’s examine the science and discover how to avoid unhelpful self-talk while designing the most effective and meaningful positive affirmations based on your core values.
What Is the Science Behind Affirmations?
Positive affirmations are based on well-established psychological theory. One is the self-affirmation¹ theory, which explains that people naturally use self-affirmation as a survival mechanism to maintain their self-worth when faced with threats (criticism, failing tests, etc.). According to the theory, when people use specific positive phrases regularly, they can restore self-competence by reflecting on their core values and self-belief.
Let’s consider the three ideas supporting this theory:
Let’s consider the three ideas supporting this theory:
- Through self-affirmation, we can maintain² a story of ourselves in which we are moral, flexible, and quick to adapt to change, helping us to view ourselves in various identities: a parent, daughter, leader, etc.
- We don’t need to be perfect², just competent in the areas we value most.
- We use positive phrases not because we want to get a pat on the back but because we want to deserve² praise for acting in a way consistent with that specific value.
On the back of the self-affirmation theory, MRI scans prove specific neural pathways³ increase when we practice positive self-talk.
The Benefits of Positive Affirmations
According to a vast body of literature³, positive affirmations can increase well-being, improve education, make people more open to behavioral change, and improve relationships.
Also, several studies found specific benefits:
Also, several studies found specific benefits:
- Positive affirmations can lower stress¹ and overthinking.¹
- This study⁴ shows self-affirmations can help people improve problem-solving under stress.
- A series² of 10-minute self-affirming exercises written by minority students helped raise their achievements.
What’s more, sports psychologists tend to believe mental conditioning⁵ can optimize performance.
Top Athletes Use Affirmations. Here’s Why
“I am capable of winning. I deserve to win. I will win.” - an affirmation⁶ used by Valarie Allman - an Olympic discus gold medalist, just before winning gold in Tokyo in 2021.
An insightful study by Lucie Finez highlighted⁷ the benefit affirmations had on athletes’ limiting beliefs.
When athletes participated in self-affirmations, they were less likely to blame adverse outcomes on outside circumstances and instead took responsibility while learning valuable lessons.
Positive affirmations can mean the difference between 1st or 2nd place for contenders, but do they work for everyone?
An insightful study by Lucie Finez highlighted⁷ the benefit affirmations had on athletes’ limiting beliefs.
When athletes participated in self-affirmations, they were less likely to blame adverse outcomes on outside circumstances and instead took responsibility while learning valuable lessons.
Positive affirmations can mean the difference between 1st or 2nd place for contenders, but do they work for everyone?
Can Affirmations Be Damaging?
Some studies suggest affirmations have no effect;⁸ others have shown that affirmations can negatively affect⁹ mood and self-esteem.
Positive affirmations work if we focus on our strengths rather than our weaknesses. But if we use phrases that go against our core beliefs about ourselves, our brain will reject them.
Take someone who has struggled with her weight all her life; if she tells herself she accepts her body, her affirmation may be ineffective as it doesn’t align with her true belief about herself.
This chasm between self-talk and belief can lead to a decrease in mood and self-esteem. Ironically, self-affirmations may work better for people with high rather than low self-esteem, according to a study⁹ conducted by Joanne Wood, professor of psychology at the University of Waterloo.
Experts say affirmations are more likely to work if you follow these guidelines.
Positive affirmations work if we focus on our strengths rather than our weaknesses. But if we use phrases that go against our core beliefs about ourselves, our brain will reject them.
Take someone who has struggled with her weight all her life; if she tells herself she accepts her body, her affirmation may be ineffective as it doesn’t align with her true belief about herself.
This chasm between self-talk and belief can lead to a decrease in mood and self-esteem. Ironically, self-affirmations may work better for people with high rather than low self-esteem, according to a study⁹ conducted by Joanne Wood, professor of psychology at the University of Waterloo.
Experts say affirmations are more likely to work if you follow these guidelines.
How to Design & Use Affirmations Effectively
Affirmations may be most effective if they’re:
- Realistic
- Specific
- Meaningful to you
- Possible
- Set in the present
- Reflective of your core values
They must also be followed by action; change will only happen if you step towards it. Combining affirmations of kindness with acts of kindness might yield results more quickly.
Affirmations promoting a growth mindset¹⁰ are more effective than trait generalization. For instance: “I can learn how to calculate these sums” vs. “I’m good at numbers.”
A good rule of thumb:¹⁰ use “I can” rather than “I am.”
This leads us to our first question: Can telling yourself you’re a good person turn you into one? Probably not, unless you take action towards becoming a good person. Also, a value statement like this may backfire as it allows you to judge yourself.
However, the soccer affirmation is more specific, realistic, and possible, so worth a go.
If your daughter does suffer from a lack of confidence on the field, try these:
Affirmations promoting a growth mindset¹⁰ are more effective than trait generalization. For instance: “I can learn how to calculate these sums” vs. “I’m good at numbers.”
A good rule of thumb:¹⁰ use “I can” rather than “I am.”
This leads us to our first question: Can telling yourself you’re a good person turn you into one? Probably not, unless you take action towards becoming a good person. Also, a value statement like this may backfire as it allows you to judge yourself.
However, the soccer affirmation is more specific, realistic, and possible, so worth a go.
If your daughter does suffer from a lack of confidence on the field, try these:
- Even professional soccer players have to start somewhere.
- I practice my ball-handling skills.
- I will cheer myself on during the whole game.
- I practice kicks and get better every time.
Use these if your daughter needs some help with her general confidence:
- I can do amazing things.
- I will always try my best.
- I can find positives in any situation.
- It’s okay not to be good at everything!
Here’s how to help her use self-affirmations effectively:
- Spend at least 3 to 5 minutes daily doing them.
- Repeat each one ten times, say it with intent, and believe them.
- Set goals and record them in your journal.
- Use visualization.
- Stay consistent—say them at the same time every day.
- Be patient; it can take a while before they bear fruit.
- Practicing gratitude can help to prioritize important values.
Positive affirmations can be a powerful mental health tool to boost self-esteem and motivation and help affect positive change. Follow our suggestions above to create affirmations that are helpful rather than harmful.
Sources:
- The Psychology of Self-Defense: Self-Affirmation Theory, by David K. Sherman and GeoVrey L. Cohen. https://ed.stanford.edu/sites/default/files/self_defense.pdf
- The Psychology of Change: Self-Affirmation and Social Psychological Intervention by Geoffrey L. Cohen and David K Sherman. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24405362/
https://ed.stanford.edu/sites/default/files/annurev-psych-psychology_of_change_final_e2.pdf - Self-Affirmation Activates Brain Systems Associated with Self-Related Processing and Reward and Is Reinforced by Future Orientation by Christopher N Cascio, Matthew Brook O'Donnell, Francis J Tinney, Matthew D Lieberman, Shelley E Taylor, Victor J Strecher, and Emily B Falk. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26541373/
- Self-Affirmation Improves Problem-Solving under Stress by J. David Creswell, Janine M. Dutcher, William M. P. Klein, Peter R. Harris, and John M. Levine. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3641050/#:~:text=They%20then%20completed%2030%20difficult,in%20underperforming%20chronically%20stressed%20individuals.
- How to Win at Life: What Sports Psychologists Can Teach Us All by Simon Usborne. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/aug/21/how-to-win-at-life-what-sports-psychologists-can-teach-us-all
- Daily Affirmations Helped Valarie Allman Win Gold. Here’s How to Make them Work for You, Too by Malissa Rodenburg. https://www.womensrunning.com/events/olympics/valarie-allman-mantras/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CI%20am%20capable%20of%20winning,women
- Train in Vain: The Role of the Self in Claimed Self-Handicapping Strategies by Lucie Finez1 and David K. Sherman. https://labs.psych.ucsb.edu/sherman/david/sites/labs.psych.ucsb.edu.sherman.david/files/pubs/finez_sherman_2012.pdf
- On the Failure to Replicate Past Findings Regarding Positive Affirmations and Self-Esteem by Maureen K. Flynn and Michael J. Bordieri. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212144719301103?via%3Dihub
- The Shadow Side of Positive Affirmations. https://www.newlifeportugal.com/blog/self-help/the-shadow-side-of-positive-affirmations/#:~:text=If%20your%20main%20strategy%20is,just%20doesn%27t%20feel%20true.
- The Influence of Growth Mindset on the Mental Health and Life Events of College Students by Weidong Tao, Dongchi Zhao, Huilan Yue, Isabel Horton, Xiuju Tian, Zhen Xu, and Hong-Jin Sun. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.821206/full
- Why Positive Affirmations Can Do More Harm Than Good by Matthew Scult. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-big-reframe/202304/when-positive-affirmations-do-more-harm-than-good#:~:text=In%20sum%2C%20affirmations%2C%20like%20the,be%20unhelpful%20or%20even%20harmful